What P100 Can Do

I had a late dinner last night. Like most nights, I bought my food from the turo2x in front of our dorm.

As I was choosing my viand, the nice lady who owns the place asked me, ‘Maam, pautang naman…’ I thought she was kidding. Without hesitation, I said, ‘Next week pa sweldo eh.’ Then I realized that she was serious. I asked her how much she needed. And she said, ‘One hundred lang Ma’am. Biglaan kasi ang pagbayad ng uniform ni Junior.’

I never gave it a second thought and said yes immediately. I was surprised that she bluntly asked to borrow, but I was more shocked at the amount. . . One hundred?

When I got back to my room, after giving her money, I realized how small the money meant to me. It’s not because I have a lot, because I certainly don’t. But P100? My Jollibee lunch alone last weekend cost me P130. But the P100 she asked for is today’s capital for the food she’d cook and sell.

It’s rather sad because I know that she is a hardworking person yet she is not financially compensated. Personally, I am not comfortable living without at least four figures in my treasure box. I am money-conscious. At my young age, I understand the value of saving and I intend to fill my bank account. I don’t know how I could manage without money. In many ways, she is better and stronger than the rest of us. She could live each day still being nice despite the difficulties.

It made me appreciate the blessings I have and made me realize how much I, too, can give back to other people.

Had she asked my father, taken that he has money, I can imagine him saying, ‘Okay na po ba ang P100? Eto po, P200 para may allowance pa.’ I know I made the right choice when I did not hesitate.

PS: I offered P200. . . She was very thankful and repeatedly promised to give it back on Tuesday.

Untitled (yet)

I lived not an ordinary student life....
Leading more than 1700 students was not an easy job...
Some of them would listen but more would not even bother...

This was part of the speech of the outgoing CBA Council President during the turning over of the key of responsibility to the new President.

I realized that I wasn't totally unlike him. I led more than 4000 students as SSG President when I was in college.

I never talked or wrote about my leadership experience before, like it was never a part of my life. Somehow, it may be a defense mechanism because I do not know how to react to people's reactions on the position, my own brand of leadership and the strengths and weaknesses of my administration.

I am naturally shy and I feel uncomfortable when people openly talk about me, much more in my presence. But being naturally shy doesn't mean that I could not manage a group or that I could not defend my people. I've had my fair share of dealing with difficult situations, students, teachers and even deans (hehe).

Being a student leader had been the best experience of my school life. It gave me lots of opportunities to meet people and gain friends; go to other places; attend and initiate activities; and more importantly, to grow, learn and share myself to others. It prepared me to become a responsible and commited professional.

My story would go on and on.....

I'd like to end this reflection by saying, and I believe many leaders would agree, that as a leader:

You do not have to be remembered. You do not have to be the best. Lead with love, commitment and purest intentions. . .

Stars Shine Down

The title is not very original. This is also the title of one of Sidney Sheldon's novels. Original or not, I hope it sends the message.

We, people, are like products in some ways. We follow the life cycle: conception, maturity and saturation (I missed one and I believe, saturation is not the exact word).

At one point in our lives, we reach the top. But like what they say, when you're on top, there is nowhere else to go but down. Many try to avoid this by clinging to position, glory and fame. And at times, they become bitter, reminding others of their many great contributions.

What most people forget is that we are only agents of God, but not his only agents. We are managers of his gifts; and whatever great contributions we may have are his contributions to humankind. Time may come for us to step down in order for others to fill in. We've had our share. We were stars... And like all stars, we shall fade. But only in the eyes of the world. Because to God, the star in us will forever shine.

Untitled

I used to be anorexic.

I wasn't fat by normal standards but I was very fat in my eyes. Like most anorexics, I wasn't eating much; and if ever I ate, I forced the food out of my body.

It started around July of last year. I became close to a classmate who was thin. She wasn't eating rice so I followed suit. By August, I lost 5 kilos, from 55 to 50. During the Intramurals in early September, I was down to 46 kilos. By that time, I only had one meal a day, with no rice. The change in my body was obvious. People commented on how much weight I have lost. I literally shrunk, Rom said. While they worried, I was happy! My efforts were bearing fruits. But my goal was to reach 40 kilos.

In an event in Tagaytay on the 3rd week of September, food was overflowing. I guess I was the only participant there who wasn't happy with that. Snacks were served in the morning, noon and at night. Meals were on buffet and others had 'take twos and threes'. I wasn't eating.

'Why are you not eating?', I was asked by two fellow female participants. 'Because I am getting fat,' I said. 'And what do you call us? We are much fatter that you are,' they replied. I told them that I was not comparing myself to them but to the standard I have set for myself. They were quiet and did not give rebuttals. Maybe they did not want to pick up a fight. I continued starving myself until early this year.

Now, I realize that I had been rude to my two girl friends. My statement have implications. Do I actually see myself as bigger/higher than them, that what they are do not matter to me because I have my own standards for myself? How thick of me.... The truth is, even if I claim that I did not compare myself to them, because I surely did not, I still compared myself to the walking sticks I admire so much. I did not practice what I always preach - never to compare yourself to others for you will become bitter or vain.

But then, nothing is ever too late. Do I care now if I am no walking stick? Not anymore. Or not as much. Hehe. I'm learning to love myself for what and who I am; and stop comparing myself to the world. . .

I did not get back to weighing 55 kilos. I don't intend to!!! I weigh around 50 kilos now and I am fine with that. I make no extreme efforts to lose weight. I was born big, 10 pounds; I have big and heavy bones so it is only natural that I don't get too thin. Hai. I have finally come to accept this.